Conflict at the edge.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Conflict at the edges of growth: Transitions in Group Work

Concept Addressed: Conflict

Conflict is the experience of tensions at the edges of growth. That is when we encounter an opportunity to grow, to know something or someone new, tension can occur between what is known( our previous notions) and what is unknown, sometimes felt as anxiety or discomfort, conflict in our society often goes unaddressed the cause of much distress.

Response

Corey and Corey tell us that conflict is a natural occurrence in all relationships, including those that form during group process. Although conflict is sometimes correlated with confrontation, it is a separate experience, which contrary to popular belief need not be negative. While confrontation can be seen as the active response to conflict, conflict itself is a noun, a feeling, usually one of tension between two or more people. In a group this tension is often “unsaid” or silent. Operating like the elephant in the room that know one wants to mention, conflict has the capacity to make people question the validity of the group, debilitate growth of group members and make participants fearful to speak up. Corey and Corey point out and I would agree in my own hypothesis that conflict is not only natural but inevitable in situations in which individuals are supposed to express their individuality and amongst strangers. I think about the conflicts I have experienced, rather as a student or coworker and in hindsight most of these tensions arose from a basic misunderstanding , namely self-perceived problem coming into contact with the perception of another person. Sometimes conflicts within the family and close nit friendship groups are dealt with in an easier manner because of the mutuality and trust established by these relationships, conflicts at work and school can be more difficult due to issues of power, distrust and non-commonality. In essence insensitivity to our sensibility is a most common factor in conflicts. In the group process these tension may arise out of distrust between racial, sexually oriented, or gender different group members. When one group member is black and the rest are white, the black member may have a preconceived notion of this experience such as “my needs will be ignored” or “I’m not going to be accepted.” I have heard these questions echoed in my own mind, as I participated as a student early in my college in a pre-medical program and also when working with a staff of all white social workers at my agency. When these conflicts are met by comments such as “you are the only that sees a problem here” or “you’re making a mountain out of a molehill” by group leaders or members, defensiveness and alienation are likely outcomes. I can speak from experience at the beginning of my last job working with a mostly urban population of mentally ill clientele and mostly suburban white female social workers, one tension I experienced was that the group leader and members of my team had an expectation that I would be able to translate the experience of the clientele in to terms they would understand. Whenever I would express the opinion that this was not an appropriate expectation, or even perhaps a biased expectation I was met with the comment that “Well you probably understand their situation better than we do”. Needless to say when the agency hired another African American female, we were put in the same office and then told “you guys kind of isolate yourselves from the rest of the group”. Looking back on these situations in light of the information covered in the text on transition phases in group process, a reason for so many of the conflicts that arose in the work environment. When the word diversity was used cavalierly to tell our clients that we appreciated racial , religious and gender influences but these same issues were never spoke of during staff meetings, trainings, and casual encounters a belief that the agency was simply employing “lip-service” or being in genuine was accepted by myself and other black staff. If any of the participant members simply spoke about the topic perhaps we would have had more cohesion, and been more productive.

Reflections

What I am learning about myself in terms of conflict is that letting things go unattended is likely only going to frustrate me later. In addition within the group process, to be an effective leader one has to let members feel that conflicts are normal and provide a pathway that is positive for confronting these conflicts. Some counselors and psychologist say nothing can be taboo in counseling, and I am beginning to believe this assessment. Although respect for individuals and group member differences in attitude an behavior are to be tolerated. Tolerance is not possible until individuals become sensitive to these differences and the tensions they may engender